Lin Christianson (lin_chan) wrote,
Lin Christianson
lin_chan

So a few days ago, I had a dream, and in the dream, I had another dream; very like a vision.  Pretty much an angel or a light telling me I was going to die in five days.
So in my dream, I woke up, and just kept on living my life, knowing, and being okay with the fact that it would all be over in five days.

When I actually woke up, I totally forgot all about it until much later.  Like hours later, I think it was Sunday, and I was sick.  As soon as I remembered the weird dream, I told Oliver about it, and even though I told him it was just a silly dream, inside another dream, Oliver seemed relieved that he has Fridays off, and he'd be here.

So.. yeah, um, I'm supposed to die today.  The 'vision' felt like it applied only to my dream life for some reason, but the whole thing has made me think:  If I were going to die in five days, what would I do differently?  And to be perfectly honest, it hasn't changed a lot.  Except that my anxiety is almost gone right now, and I took a little video of Baby Brother when he woke up all happy to see me one morning. 
I don't know if the anxiety thing is because of my no-sugar diet, or if it's the realization that... there's not much I would change.  I married a sweet, honest, affectionate man in the Lord's house, who loves me more than life.  I had two strong, beautiful, healthy, clever children who come to church with us every week, and are always happy to see me. 
My husband and I read and pray at night before bed, and usually fall asleep in each others' arms.
And ultimately, I think that's all I care about.
Even if I die today, our marriage was in the temple, and for eternity.  Our children were "born in the covenant" and they are sealed to us.  Death cannot take them away either, they are ours, always.
So I know it was just a dream, inside another dream, and maybe its only purpose was to help me realize all this.  That what I do day after day is important to God, and to me.
But if it's my time to go before the sun comes up tomorrow, I trust God, and I'm ready to go.

See you in the morning. ;)
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